Making a Mess

This month’s theme in The Year of Creativity is Perspective and we’ve been talking a lot about making messes in our writing. In my perfectionist, Type A world, messes and writing shouldn’t be in the same sentence. I was never allowed to make a mess with writing. There have always been rules, guidelines, a wrong way and right way. Grammar, spelling, sentence structure, and two spaces after a period. Book reports and research papers had specific formats that were expected to be followed. Even through my college Literature classes every sentence was painfully thought out and researched to perfection.

I never gave myself permission to make a mess.

I’m realizing that this is why it took me so long to start writing. I was always afraid of the jumble of words not coming out sounding or looking right. I thought they needed to be perfect the first time they left my mind, but of course they don’t.

So since this truth bomb was dropped on me earlier this month, I’ve been making messes all over the place. I’m experimenting with styles and perspectives. I’m writing with an actual pen and paper. I’m trying not to think about what’s coming out...and just letting it come.

It’s not all pretty and some of it may end up deleted, in the trash, burned, or buried. It would be easy for me to say that what comes out of the trash is what’s important, but I think what’s in the trash is equally so. If I’m not willing to make a mess, there’s a chance I could miss a lot of good stuff.

For some inspiration on how to get messy in your writing, art, work, or life in general check out these articles:

The Importance of Play: On Finding Joy In Your Writing Practice

3 Activities to Play with When Perfectionism Stalls Your Project

Reclaim Your Creative Confidence

A Thank You Letter to 2016

Thank you 2016...

For showing me I’m braver than I ever thought I could be.  It takes a special kind of crazy to move thousands of miles away from everything you’ve ever known, to start over when you thought you were pretty planted, and to have faith that it’s the right thing.

For giving me confidence.  The older I get, the more I feel my confidence building and in this thirty-third year it took on skyscraper status. Between the move, new relationships, and my changed role at work, I feel as confident in myself as I ever have.

For helping me define my spiritual, social, and political beliefs. This also probably has something to do with age (and a lot to do with the election season), but this year I wrestled with and pinned down many things that before I had just accepted or dismissed.

For pushing me to let my words out into the world. 2016 is the birthday of my writing self. It was when I finally gave in to that small but annoying voice that kept urging me to put the keys to the Word file, even when the louder and more forceful voice was telling me I couldn’t do it. 

For giving me more time.  Our life here is laid back and go with the flow. We have little or no commute, eat dinner at 6 every night, and have left behind the stresses of trying to do everything and be everyone. We have more time to be a family and to be ourselves.

Thank you 2016 for being a year of newness, exploration, and discovery.