Last weekend Ryan and I got a little crazy and instead of
our usual Saturday of taking M to the pool or the beach, we dropped him off at
the babysitter and went kayaking. We decided to try out the double kayak
because what’s more romantic than sharing a tiny plastic boat that you have to
self-propel down the river? This was our first go at this kind of adventure and
it actually went pretty well. It took a few minutes to get into a rhythm and
for the strokes of our paddles to sync up, but pretty soon we were happily
moving along with the current.
The part of the river we floated along runs through town and is lined by big houses and fancy boats. I bet we could afford that one, I said, pointing to the one house that was smaller than the yacht out front. (Those people probably live in the yacht and use the house for guests.) We kept an eye out for dolphins and manatees but only saw a few turtles poke their little heads up and then swim away into the dark water as we approached. When we came up on two buoys we pretended we were on an Olympic kayak slalom course. Let’s just say we would not have won the gold.
There is a public dock at the point where we had planned on turning around and we needed to stretch our legs (ok, who are we kidding it had been forty-five minutes and I had to pee) so we made our first attempt at docking. Docking in a kayak is harder than it looks. I mean, you watch someone do it in the movies and you think, that’s no big deal. Well, it is a big deal. We went in at the wrong angle, didn’t coordinate our paddling and steering, and instead of smoothing sliding up next to the dock, it was more of a crash and bang kind of deal.
After our brief stop we head back, against the current this time, which took a bit of effort. (If I had it my way we’d just switch the current back the other way and keep on floatin.) When there was an especially strong section we both had to dig in extra deep to get through. A few times one of us had to rest and the other kept paddling to keep us moving. As we approached the dock this time we planned out our attack and successfully pulled in without even tapping the side.
Later we joked that if we had done something like this earlier in our marriage, one of us would have been in tears and one of us would have been swimming back to the dock. (You can guess who’s who.) We laughed, but the more I thought about it the more I realized it’s probably true.
During the first years of our marriage there wasn’t a lot of teamwork. We were still too self-focused and we both wanted to control the boat at the same time. When the current got too strong we got scared and weak. We didn’t want to pick up the other’s slack and we didn’t care to change for each other. We were crash banging our way into the docks of life.
Our kayak was getting worn out and it was either bail or start working together. Over time and many, many attempts our ride is getting smoother. We’ve learned to share control. Sometimes Ryan needs to take over but now and then I have to take the paddle and keep us moving. Stretches of strong currents only make us stronger as we work through them. Now we can adjust and adapt to each other’s changes instead of fighting them and when we’re approaching a dock we plan ahead to successfully bring the boat in.
Of course some of our trips are still bumpy, but at least no one is being thrown overboard.
The part of the river we floated along runs through town and is lined by big houses and fancy boats. I bet we could afford that one, I said, pointing to the one house that was smaller than the yacht out front. (Those people probably live in the yacht and use the house for guests.) We kept an eye out for dolphins and manatees but only saw a few turtles poke their little heads up and then swim away into the dark water as we approached. When we came up on two buoys we pretended we were on an Olympic kayak slalom course. Let’s just say we would not have won the gold.
There is a public dock at the point where we had planned on turning around and we needed to stretch our legs (ok, who are we kidding it had been forty-five minutes and I had to pee) so we made our first attempt at docking. Docking in a kayak is harder than it looks. I mean, you watch someone do it in the movies and you think, that’s no big deal. Well, it is a big deal. We went in at the wrong angle, didn’t coordinate our paddling and steering, and instead of smoothing sliding up next to the dock, it was more of a crash and bang kind of deal.
After our brief stop we head back, against the current this time, which took a bit of effort. (If I had it my way we’d just switch the current back the other way and keep on floatin.) When there was an especially strong section we both had to dig in extra deep to get through. A few times one of us had to rest and the other kept paddling to keep us moving. As we approached the dock this time we planned out our attack and successfully pulled in without even tapping the side.
Later we joked that if we had done something like this earlier in our marriage, one of us would have been in tears and one of us would have been swimming back to the dock. (You can guess who’s who.) We laughed, but the more I thought about it the more I realized it’s probably true.
During the first years of our marriage there wasn’t a lot of teamwork. We were still too self-focused and we both wanted to control the boat at the same time. When the current got too strong we got scared and weak. We didn’t want to pick up the other’s slack and we didn’t care to change for each other. We were crash banging our way into the docks of life.
Our kayak was getting worn out and it was either bail or start working together. Over time and many, many attempts our ride is getting smoother. We’ve learned to share control. Sometimes Ryan needs to take over but now and then I have to take the paddle and keep us moving. Stretches of strong currents only make us stronger as we work through them. Now we can adjust and adapt to each other’s changes instead of fighting them and when we’re approaching a dock we plan ahead to successfully bring the boat in.
Of course some of our trips are still bumpy, but at least no one is being thrown overboard.
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